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1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
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2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
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3. Dear School: Excuses
Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
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4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
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5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
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6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
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7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
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8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
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9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
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10. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
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11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
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12. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
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13. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
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14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
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15. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
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16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
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17. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
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18. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
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19. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
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20. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
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21. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
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22. Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds .
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23. My brother used this in real life..."the only reason that I do bad in school is because I'm near and far sighted."
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24. Please excuse my son from school yesterday, he has gangrene and cock itch.
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25. Please excuse Jackie for not having her homework she was a little under the weatherman, and there was a big flurry in Central America.
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26. I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't!
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27. Please excuse my daughter for being late. Her broom won't start so I had to send it back to Salem for repairs!
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28. I'm sorry but my baby sitter flushed my homework down the toilet.
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29. I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.
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30. I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!
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31. A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, " What about extreme sexual exhaustion? ", and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, " Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
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32. My son Michael won't be in school today, he caught his thing in his zipper this morning while dressing and is in lot of pain!
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33. In my school district and a few around us we have a senior skip day. The seniors get to take a day off without being truant. But our new principal decided to change some rules this year and made senior skip day a truancy. All we had to do to make it excused was bring a note from a parent or doctor or something. So my mom wrote, "Please excuse my son from being absent, it was senior skip day," and they accepted it as excused."
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34. Please Excuse Eric from school on May 5th thru May 19th, he was waiting in line for the new Star Wars film, you will be happy to know he got tickets for next September, when he will be missing another week of school while he waits for the perfect seat.
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35. My mom called my school this morning and told them that my face was very sunburned and swollen so I couldn't go to school today or tomorrow, which is true and they accepted it as an excused absence.
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36. Actually used - by me, the teacher.!! I am sorry your exams are not all marked. The cat got jealous as I was marking instead of petting him and after I went to bed he attacked the test papers. Those of you missing entire sections will be credited full marks. If I can see your answer through the tooth mark holes, I'll mark what you wrote down.
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37. Again - this actually happened to me - the teacher! Sorry your books are being returned late - my briefcase was run over in the middle of the Fraser Highway after it fell from the roof of my car. I apologize for the tire tracks on some of your pages. The tire tracks will not detract from your marks for neatness.
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38. Please excuse Casey from school. It was Take Your Daughter to work day. I don't have a job, so I made her stay home and do housework.
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39. Please excuse my daughter from school yesterday and P.E. forever. She had a very bad asthma attach running in P.E. because the coach made her run too much. Please excuse her from P.E. even though the doctor says she needs it.
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40. For school if you have a worksheet or something here is one thing you can say: I was doing my homework like a good little girl (or boy) and my dad wanted to check it, I gave him the paper and he forgot that he had it, he got a call from his boss saying that he had to pack now because he was going out of town, well he was so much in a hurry that he packed my homework in his suitcase, he won't be back for another 3 weeks...does that mean that I can get an extension?
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41. When my husband and I first started dating, we got this great idea to have a bunch of us to go on a picnic on this beautiful spring day. I would have him write the excuse for me and have him sign my stepfathers name as I had never turned in an excuse from him and they did not know his handwriting. After our wonderful day with our friends picnicking he wrote the note, without looking at it, I put it in my purse to turn it in the following morning, which I did first thing I got to homeroom. After a few minutes the teacher called me up to her desk. She asked me, "Who wrote this excuse?" "My stepfather" I replied. "And how was he feeling when he wrote this?" "OK, I guess." not knowing what she was getting to. She handed me the note to read. The note my boyfriend had written said, Please excuse Sharon for being absent as she was feeling good yesterday. The excuse was accepted because they thought I wasn't stupid enough to hand in an excuse like that if it wasn't real.
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42. For School: Tell your mom this.. Mom, My stomach hurts. I had diarrhea all night. Now I feel like I am going to barf. Next day, school time: I wasn't sick yesterday Mom, can you tell the school I was home taking care of you when you were sick?
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43. Oh, sorry [teachers name], the cafeteria food made me delirious.
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44. My locker is jammed and I can't get my homework out of it. I actually used this one.
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45. This was actually used- Dear Coach, (students name) could not make it to the game at (time of game) because the battery in my car was dead because my headlights were left on and I needed a jump from the neighbor. Please excuse (name), it was my fault.
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46. A student does not hand in a paper on time. The next day she calls me in my office and says: "I was going to hand the paper in on time, but yesterday my roommate's horse died, and I had to stay up all night with her."
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47. As a college instructor for 15 years, I thought I had heard them all until.... a student told me he could not take an exam one day because he had a vasectomy yesterday and he could not think.
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48. Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn't feel like going.
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49. Please excuse Ryan's absents he has smoked too much weed over the last few days and is extremely tired.
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50. My youngest daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her younger step-brother had stolen it, filled it in and turned it in to his teacher to prove how smart he was. |
